Depeche Mind: The Nashunal Speling Be

Given that C has been living in the U.S. for the past 7 months, he's quite reserved about his adjustment to America and American people.

Oh don't get me wrong, that British exterior cracks on occasion. There's nothing he lovvvvesss more than going off on a self-important Yummy Mummy in their Hummer, necessary to navigate the minefields of the Upper East Side, New York City. And if one of these Yummy Mummies even so much as dare speed too close to him while he's walking Zoe, well I personally feel very, very sorry for them. Especially if their kid goes to Lycee Francais. Because C doesn't much like the French and can sniff out the blood, of any parent whose kids go there, within a five mile radius.

Segue to a Yummy Mummy shopping in Zabar's on the other side of town...

"Excuse me, would you mind maybe reaching up to get that jar of pickles for me?"

C (sniffs around first): "Yes, I do mind! Get off your fecking arse and do it yourself!"

Otherwise, he's a pretty calm guy.

So last night, after a long hellacious day, we both settled in on the couch and wondered if we were too tired to watch TV. TV won out over exhaustion and we flipped the channel on. I was leafing through a magazine at the same time, when all of a sudden he got all excited.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU AMERICANS HAVE A SPELLING BEE ON PRIMETIME TV!"

Climbing back on the couch after having fallen off from the shock, I raised an eyebrow at him. Did he not not see my post about the Akeelah spellng movie? Spelling bees are the stuff of Drama! Suspense! Action!

A precursor of the bloodshed to come

This was the most animated I had seen C become about anything American. Forgoing all British courtesy, he kept muttering to himself on the couch: "I can't believe you have a spelling bee on American primetime TV. I can't believe it! You Americans are mad!"

Therefore, I felt it was best not to tell him about a story my friend told me about she and her boyfriend somehow finding old videos of the 1979 National Spelling Bee. Because if you were rich enough to own a VCR in the 1970s, you were recording a spelling bee above all things. So not only did they find them, but they decided to watch it while completely stoned out of their minds. And they loved every second of it.

I moved to switch the channel, when he stopped me. "Hang on."

All of a sudden, we found ourselves riveted, watching a young man trying to spell the word presented to him.