Giddy-ap

I'm still plugging my way through the 80's videos, even though C is back already, when I come across this Oak Ridge Boys video.

The only reason I even remember this song is because I thought the song was about, you know, Elvira? What other Elvira was there??? Oh, I don't know - everything was so tacky back then, it just made sense! If Frank Sinatra could show up on an episode of Who's the Boss?, then the Oak Ridge Boys can sing to the Mistress of Darkness!

"Give me some credit, will ya?"

When I look at the copious amounts of facial hair that threatens to sprout through my computer screen like a Chia Pet, I ask myself: "What were they trying to be? The Village People of country music? Who was who?"

There's the one guy who gets to do all the singing - he's like the Justin Timberlake of the bunch, except he looks more like Carlos Santana with a Cleopatra perm. And then there's the City Slicker guy, a white Barry White. His jeans are so tight he can't even stand properly; he's like "Whoa, Nellie!" The camera guy makes sure to pan on him for dramatic effect every time his turn comes up. Oh wait! It's coming, it's coming! Wai-wai-wait...

"A-room-bop, a-room-bop, a-mow-mow"

Ahhhhh, give the guy a encore! As for the other two who just sing back-up, they're country music filler. I guess if you only kept the first two guys, you'd be forced to call them Oak Ridge Duo and that just doesn't sound right. And then if you have three singers, well...Oak Ridge Trio just isn't badass enough. But Oak Ridge Boys - yes, that's right, that's hardcore! Like the Oak Ridge Boyz are in da house! Even if you have to bring back the long lost, inbred cousin of Kenny Rogers and plop a country-bumpkin hat on his head to round it all out.

As for that beard, I'm just gonna say this for the FBI: I'll give you one clue where Jimmy Hoffa's body has been hiding all this time.

You just know that this is one of those songs where if a four-year old hears it, they'll never stop singing it. And we don't want that, so I'll close this great chapter in musical history right now.