Popping the In 'N Out cherry

Our long awaited vacation has arrived - the mini road trip down Highway 1 in California is upon us and not just me, but the both of us couldn't be happier.

Just to fill you in, this summer has been crazy. Ker-razy! Between a previous trip to Montreal, Zoe Dawg having two surgeries, hanging out with friends, and life in general, we needed an escape from New York. Now we have it.

Starting your trip with this view of lovely Oakland, CA from your hotel room means it can only get better from here

I will say that if it wasn't for the fact that one of my closest, oldest friends moved out to LA last year, this trip would have been motivated by one thing and one thing only: the In 'N Out burger.

You see, In 'N Out is a burger franchise primarily located on the West Coast and the source of much breathless rhapsodizing and dilated pupils, as people recall their experiences at this fine fast-food establishment. The number of people talking about In 'N Out in person and online inspired a lot of jealousy in this Yankee. New York is supposed to have the good, meaty burgers, not grass-chewing, tofu-loving, veggie-capital-of-the-world California! So why was I being denied?

It was time to make things right.

After taking the BART from Oakland to San Francisco and checking in, C and I looked at each other in a bleary haze. We were hungry and far from the nearest In 'N Out, which was actually in the last place we wanted to be at the moment - Fisherman's Wharf. We don't do touristy.

C: "What do you want to do?"

M: "Do you mind?"

C (rolling eyes and handing me cashews): "Here, some nuts for the road."

And so we were off. The good thing about marathon travel - inadequate sleep after getting on a cross-country flight after a long day of work, during which you had a hangover from you boss' farewell do the night before - means that you can subsist on a stomach with just a few nuts in it and be totally okay with it. After all that, what's another two hours to figure out how to get across town for a double-double animal style? (That's a double cheeseburger with all the trimmings, special sauce and the fries with the special sauce to boot. Yeah, I already got the lingo down pat!)

Upon landing at Fisherman's Wharf, I won't lie. I zoomed in like a heat-seaking missile for that burger. Alcatraz? Nope, didn't care. San Francisco bay winking at us in the sunlight? With the sailboats lazily going by? Just begging us to take pictures in front of it for our Wall 'O Pictures? Another time. It was like M, get thee to that burger! And then:

Like a moth to flame, I wuz

I am ashamed to say I don't have any pictures of what it was like inside. The hordes of people waiting for their food. The employees in their cute, identical hats wearing their In 'N Out baseball hats that I contemplated buying for myself (I did not). And sadly, I did not get pictures of the food. Because upon walking in, I had entered a Zone.

You know what I mean - that Zone. Like "I cannot believe that my little human existence in the great universal scheme of things has traveled this far to be actually doing this one thing of huge significance." 'This' can pertain to the being at the Great Wall of China. 'This' could be visiting the pyramids of Egypt. 'This' may be hunkering down and living amongst the indigent people of the Amazon rain forest, as they live their daily lives unfettered by progress and The Man.

'This', for me, was entering the In 'N Out burger chain at Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco.

In the end, I will say I was satisfied. A little perplexed as to the mythical status of this burger, but willing to digress and say it was pretty damn good. I'll get slated for this by those In 'N Out lovin' fans, but: it was not the best I've ever had. It was Up There in the echelons of Burgerhood, but not The Best.

But then again, it could be an aberration. And with 9 more days to go as wind our way down the California Coast, with In 'N Outs dotting the way, there are plenty of more opportunities to find out!