You're never too old to have a crush

Confession time: I have an itty bitty crush on Anthony Bourdain.

"M, look into the eyes of man who only wants to cook for you"

Yes, yes, I know. Me and my wierd celebrity crushes. No lusting after Brad Pitt or George Clooney for me. Oh, no. From Ted Nugent to Donald Sutherland (pant, pant) to Patrice O’Neal (but only when he was hosting Web Junk), I love me some wierd crushes! I almost had a crush on Tom Petty, but now that just would have been too wierd.

I don't know what it is, but Ah like Tony Bourdain! Hey, who doesn't lurve a man who cooks? But not just that, he's from Jersey. This badass is from my neck of the woods in New Jersey and therefore gives instantaneous credibility to my much-maligned home state. I can walk with my head a little higher and give a little lip back to anyone who gives me shit for it, because Tony Bourdain is a Jersey Boy and that's all the back-up I need.

When I first saw him, surrounded by a halo of smoke at Siberia Bar in 2000, I'll admit it: I was a little scared of the guy. He looked so grouchy, like he just wanted to be left the fark alone and not deal with drunk, loud twenty-somethings like me going up to him and trying to hang. I hated Siberia Bar, but I always found it interesting just to watch him. He was so...watch-able.

And then I'd spot him all the time on 7th Avenue in later years, it was uncanny. Thousands of people walk right by me on the streets, but like a heat-seeking missile I always seemed to spot him when walked down the street. And it wasn't like I was crushing then, he just seemed to gravitate to wherever I was.

Could it possibly be that Anthony Bourdain is following me?

Yeah, in my dreams.

Ironically enough, just when C and I starting becoming compulsive fans of the show No Reservations, the live sightings stopped. The more we watched Our Man Tony travel and eat his way around the world, the more we got glimmers of the person behind that steely facade I saw years ago, he virtually disappeared off the streets. And the more I started harboring a big honking crush on the dude.

But such is life and I've got a great guy at home. And we all know there's nothing wrong with having a celebrity crush. Even if they're chain-smoking, thrill-seeking men with a death wish and nearly twice my age.