Cheese-tastic confession No. 2

In deference to my love of all things cheesy and ghost-related, I have another confession to make. It is up to you whether this is worse than my Kelly Clarkson admission.

I love Ghost Whisperer. And not only do I love Ghost Whisperer, but I am the proud owner of the Season 1 DVD (ducking tomatoes).

Hey! I’m not alone, ‘kay? Unlike Ghost Hunters on Sci-Fi, which legitimately Freaks Me Out, I know this show makes ghosts the most un-scary thing since Casper. But I don’t care. There’s a reason why me and millions of other people park our asses on the couch to watch Jennifer Love Hewitt and co-star, the False Eyelashes, help ghosts cross over every Friday night.

"I am the ghost of your real eyelashes. Either you match the ten percent the falsies get or we sell our story to Star."

Like Miz Kelly cast her spell onto me, I got sucked into this show. Put the word "ghost" in the title of a show and I'm all "oooohhhh, I gotta see this!". I have a need to satisfy my Inner Vern. It was only several episodes in did I realize that:

This show is not scary whatsoever

and

I am watching the millennial version of Highway to Heaven

False eyelashes, take note - Michael Landon's hair got twenty-five percent in that show

But it was too late. Melinda and Jim and all those smiley folks of Grandview insinuated themselves into my brain and They're. Not. Letting. Go.

Maybe my enjoyment is tinged with a grudging respect for Melinda. I mean, the girl sees ghosts all day! If I were her, I'd be wrapped up in a comfy white jacket, drooling on myself in a padded cell somewhere. She'll have the ghosts of burn victims and people with eyes all whited out, stalking her and making dolls come alive, and she's just chatting away at them like it's normal. I mean, alright, the show is cheesy, but when they start pulling out the dolls? Hello?!? Are dolls that come alive not some of the creepiest shit you've ever seen?

Seriously, if that were my life? I'd be keeping the adult diaper industry in business all by myself.