Not Fronch Fry, Fronch-ify
Since getting back from France, I have been Fronch-ifying certain words, as they do sound so much better that way.
For example, the word “budget”. Such an ugly word, alas one that comes up in my everyday vocabulary, i.e. “I am on a budget, therefore I eat McDonald’s.” But Fronch-ify this word and voila! You instantly have a much better sounding word and half the shame associated with clipping coupons.
Friend: M, are you free on Thursday for dinner?
M: Alors, I am on a bood-jhay, therefore I will stay at home and heat up a delectable can of Campbell’s Creamy Ranchero Tomato soup for dinner.
Doesn’t that sound so much better?
On the other hand, Fronch-ifying an unsavory word - like “pervert” - disguises the word so that you can relay distress signals to your friends in a discreet manner. For example, this past weekend I was in Florida with a friend. As we floated in the ocean with our flotation devices, I noticed something not quite right about a gentleman standing about ten feet away from us:
M: Um…A?
A (smiling into the sun): Yes?
M: There is a pair-vair taking pictures of our bikini’ed bottoms with his underwater camera and smiling a little too widely for my liking.
A: (No words, just an expression of horror before sprinting across the water faster than Mark Phelps.)
True story.
If you’re not sure how to Fronch-ify a word, I would suggest two things. The first would be to rent the movie “Better Off Dead”. Not because it’s a cult film that stars a young John Cusack playing a hapless Lane Meyer and made him what he is today, but because of The Mother, as wonderfully played by Kim Darby. Poor woman, she's had an illustrious career in film prior to this movie and all I can remember her for is playing Lane Meyer's mother. But when you effectively murder the French language and American-French cinematic relations in the Eighties within the same movie, that empts out any Oscar-winning work you may have previously done.
For example, the word “budget”. Such an ugly word, alas one that comes up in my everyday vocabulary, i.e. “I am on a budget, therefore I eat McDonald’s.” But Fronch-ify this word and voila! You instantly have a much better sounding word and half the shame associated with clipping coupons.
Friend: M, are you free on Thursday for dinner?
M: Alors, I am on a bood-jhay, therefore I will stay at home and heat up a delectable can of Campbell’s Creamy Ranchero Tomato soup for dinner.
Doesn’t that sound so much better?
On the other hand, Fronch-ifying an unsavory word - like “pervert” - disguises the word so that you can relay distress signals to your friends in a discreet manner. For example, this past weekend I was in Florida with a friend. As we floated in the ocean with our flotation devices, I noticed something not quite right about a gentleman standing about ten feet away from us:
M: Um…A?
A (smiling into the sun): Yes?
M: There is a pair-vair taking pictures of our bikini’ed bottoms with his underwater camera and smiling a little too widely for my liking.
A: (No words, just an expression of horror before sprinting across the water faster than Mark Phelps.)
True story.
If you’re not sure how to Fronch-ify a word, I would suggest two things. The first would be to rent the movie “Better Off Dead”. Not because it’s a cult film that stars a young John Cusack playing a hapless Lane Meyer and made him what he is today, but because of The Mother, as wonderfully played by Kim Darby. Poor woman, she's had an illustrious career in film prior to this movie and all I can remember her for is playing Lane Meyer's mother. But when you effectively murder the French language and American-French cinematic relations in the Eighties within the same movie, that empts out any Oscar-winning work you may have previously done.
Vote Kim for President
The second thing would be to a use “le” in place of “the”. Instant Fronch-ification. Le Big Mac. Le cockroach. Le driveby shooting. All vastly improved by the use of a French definite article.
posted by Currin Girl at 11:54 AM
2 Comments:
Holy shit! Someone else saw "Better Off Dead"! My favorite line from that, one which goes along with Fronch-ifying words, is when the Mom introduced the Perrier and pronounces it "Peru."
Incidently, I've always felt things sound better in French. In english we have "garbage"...in France they have "la poubelle," see? EVERYTHING sounds better in French.
Now I must be off...becuase I'm on a bou-jhay, I need to pick up some clothes at the Tar-jhay.
G.
I have high respect for anyone who can appreciate the nuances of Better Off Dead.
I'm telling you - put Lane's mom and Harold's mom in opposite corners and she'd kick Harold's mom's butt anyday.
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