Doggie's goin' on a diet

It is confirmed. My dog is overweight.

I’ve been saying this all along, but would anyone listen to me? Nooo-hooooo! All I would get was, “Oh, stop it. She’s a dog!” But I swear it wasn’t me associating any personal body complexes I have with my dog. She really was overweight.

When we first got her, she was only 28 pounds. She is now 41 pounds. That is 13 extra pounds of dog sitting on my lap whenever I try to get comfortable on the sofa.

Zoe when she was skinny

She was quite runty and sickly when we first took her on, so I was glad to see her gain weight and her health vastly improved. Aside from those first few months over two years ago, she hasn’t been sick since. While she looks great now, there is most certainly a jiggle to her wiggle and dog’s got a few extra pounds on her she needs to shift. And this has been confirmed her vet as of today.

I blame my parents, then I blame myself. I blame them because whenever she stays at their house, it’s an all-out Food Party. There’s food on tap everywhere. She could become positively drunk on food. Because my parents’ dog is funny about food – he has to have someone sitting by him while he eats – they leave food out for him all the time, hoping that one day he’ll become normal and just eat. My dog does not have this problem. Oh no. She just digs in. I know their dog is confused by her interest in his food. No sense of propriety will force him to defend what’s rightfully his in that bowl; he just stares at her with some level of interest, before walking away. If dogs could shrug their shoulders, that’s what he’d do.

Then there’s the table food problem. The problem being my parents like to give table food to the dogs. Zoe knows there’s no chance of food magically moving itself from my plate to the floor right in front of her, so she doesn’t even try. My parents, however, have become accustomed to her eyes boring holes into their head as they eat, and so they will toss her the odd morsel of sometimes the most unimaginable things. Nuts. Tortilla chips. Potatoes. Leftover gravy (i.e. grease) from stews poured over their kibble. If it’s not that good for us humans, then it can’t be good for dogs. But they continute to regard her as a Canine Disposal System, then wonder why I complain she’s fat.

Zoe as of Sunday - don't let appearances fool you

Then it’s my fault for leaving her there so much. I don’t want to get into it, I have enough guilt over this already.

My dog is the champion chomper and has come to expect unlimited portions of food to be her inalienable right. She inhales her food without tasting it. Kind of like me. So it looks like we’re all going on a diet in my little family, as we’ve all gotten a little sloppy. C and I can handle this, but having never been denied by us, I think Zoe is in for the shock of her life.