Humor me - A final rant
Thursday night, I got together with co-workers from my last job for drinks and dinner. And I've been left with an odd, slightly depressed feeling since, in spite of my hope and excitement over starting my new job.
Of course, when you leave a job, you'll get updates and the odd bit of office gossip. And since I got back from Greece, there have been IM's, phone conversations, and get togethers like Friday. But after a while, I started to notice that all discussion pertaining to my old office was tinged with this undercurrent of negativity. Regardless of disclaimers by the speaker of gossip, backbiting, and disloyalty, the conversations I had with each person was guilty of one or the other. The willingness to talk about everyone else in the office made me realize I myself was probably not exempt from such disdainful analysis. This already confirmed what I knew and why I left - my old office environment was purely, positively toxic for the soul.
In particular, it's clear that Whiner has been happily trashing me since my departure. That I expected. But some of the things repeated back to me aren't true, or I'm not guilty of, and that depresses me. I was aware of it when I was still employed there, still able to defend myself, and disprove her claims. But the fact that she's still busily doing it after I'm gone is down to one word: pathetic.
To wit, I now have figured it out that people need to stop repeating these stories to me. What I won't know won't hurt me and all that. And I really don't want that shit on the bottoms of my soles (or should I say soul?) as I step into the next phase of my career. Ultimately, people will believe what they want to believe and there's nothing I can do about it.
But the worst thing I realized was that I totally subscribed to that environment too. I was just as bad as everyone of them. After I'd gone and saw what was going on, I was downright embarassed. Why did I spend so much energy obsessing about the behaviors of those people? Not that I was going to find the cure for cancer, but I could have been a lot more productive with myself and my time. And I also realize that being totally immersed in all that just left me sleepless and feeling physically tired all the time. If we all devoted as much attention to the company as we did to each other, maybe the company wouldn't be in the red.
"Rise above it" is a bit over-used, but highly necessary for my mindset these days.
So that's my ramblings, which I really needed to get off my chest so I could start this new job with a clear conscience. No more angry posts by Moi for a while. Happy thoughts only, because nobody wants to keep reading this shit.
Just one more thing though. The brainiacs at my last job still think I'm pregnant.
Of course, when you leave a job, you'll get updates and the odd bit of office gossip. And since I got back from Greece, there have been IM's, phone conversations, and get togethers like Friday. But after a while, I started to notice that all discussion pertaining to my old office was tinged with this undercurrent of negativity. Regardless of disclaimers by the speaker of gossip, backbiting, and disloyalty, the conversations I had with each person was guilty of one or the other. The willingness to talk about everyone else in the office made me realize I myself was probably not exempt from such disdainful analysis. This already confirmed what I knew and why I left - my old office environment was purely, positively toxic for the soul.
In particular, it's clear that Whiner has been happily trashing me since my departure. That I expected. But some of the things repeated back to me aren't true, or I'm not guilty of, and that depresses me. I was aware of it when I was still employed there, still able to defend myself, and disprove her claims. But the fact that she's still busily doing it after I'm gone is down to one word: pathetic.
To wit, I now have figured it out that people need to stop repeating these stories to me. What I won't know won't hurt me and all that. And I really don't want that shit on the bottoms of my soles (or should I say soul?) as I step into the next phase of my career. Ultimately, people will believe what they want to believe and there's nothing I can do about it.
But the worst thing I realized was that I totally subscribed to that environment too. I was just as bad as everyone of them. After I'd gone and saw what was going on, I was downright embarassed. Why did I spend so much energy obsessing about the behaviors of those people? Not that I was going to find the cure for cancer, but I could have been a lot more productive with myself and my time. And I also realize that being totally immersed in all that just left me sleepless and feeling physically tired all the time. If we all devoted as much attention to the company as we did to each other, maybe the company wouldn't be in the red.
"Rise above it" is a bit over-used, but highly necessary for my mindset these days.
So that's my ramblings, which I really needed to get off my chest so I could start this new job with a clear conscience. No more angry posts by Moi for a while. Happy thoughts only, because nobody wants to keep reading this shit.
Just one more thing though. The brainiacs at my last job still think I'm pregnant.
posted by Currin Girl at 10:51 AM
1 Comments:
A sad, but true, observation into the world of the working men and women. Good luck on the next venture. I have found if you go out of your way to bring up others, only those that have never aspired to bring any effort to their jobs (or fear you may take their place) have ill feelings.
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