What I’ve learned in Greece – Athens, Part 1 (Or is it Part I?)

#1 Greek men flirt. It doesn’t matter if you’re married, have screaming kids tugging at your arm, or what your age is (or theirs, for that matter), it’s what they do. They sleep, they eat, they flirt. I think they're taught this right after learning how to walk.

#2 If you are like me and cannot stand the sight of olives, keep it to yourself.

#3 If you decide to go out to eat at the first sign of hunger, you are too late. Contrary to popular opinion amongst travelers, in Athens tipping will not make the waiter move any faster. You. Will. Wait. Plan accordingly and train your stomach to accommodate Greek service.

#4 It’s not Diet Coke. It’s “Coca-Cola Light”.

#5 Despite the valiant efforts of Athenian government to clean up the city for the 2004 Olympics, the stray dogs are back. They don’t bother you if you don’t bother them; mostly they just like to chill out wherever the people are and sleep. They’re like the Cheech and Chong of dogs and it’s enough to make you want to take one home. Mom, Dad, meet the newest member of the family.

#6 Only Greek women can maneuver the streets with the grace of a gazelle in high heels and wedges. The rest of us should get fitted for a body cast prior to departure, so it’s ready and waiting for us when we get home. Otherwise, just suck it up, succumb to Tevas (no, that’s not a Greek God), and declare yourself a tourist in the eyes of the locals.

Greetings from Athens - wish you were here

#7 It’s called “Plaka”, which is Greek for “Old Town” and it lies in the shadows of the Acropolis. What it really means is “If the shops could peddle shit as gold to the tourists, they would”.

#8 Much to my dismay, they are straw hats everywhere, indicating this is an epidemic of international proportions. On the heads of people, in the shops, everywhere. I even saw a purple straw cowboy hat (shudder).

#9 When it comes to gore, the movie "The Hills Have Eyes" has nothing on a visit to a Greek butcher. I'm talking stuff along the lines of that scene from The Godfather.