So it's like this...

I'm pregnant. Three months, to be exact. I'm thrilled, but you wouldn't be able to tell since I've been basically asleep ever since I found out. Like, I've been known to nod off while at the dinner table or when I put my head down on my desk at work. Which doesn't go over so well, considering I still haven't told my boss yet.

See, my boss isn't exactly the model of thentitivity when it comes to this kind of news. Flashback to when someone else was expecting in the office and he asked them when the parasite was due.

Yeah.

So I'm trying to keep this on the downlow and just let him think I like my food. Which wouldn't be hard to deduce considering my regular tops are starting to look snug around my middle and I'm prone to mid-morning refills of my Honey Nut Cheerios, which have made a serious comeback into my life after I stopped eating them since the 4th grade. At the rate, I'm going to turn into one big, round Cheerio.

But aside from the sleepiness and occasional mood swing, I'd like to think my disposition hasn't changed much as I haven't been too affected by the customary symptoms of pregnancy. Granted, some lifestyle changes have been in order, like the absence of sushi, beer, rollerblading, roast beef sandwiches, turkey subs from Publix, nova lox on a scooped-out everything bagel with scallion cream cheese, tomato and onion...

So yeah, I'm a little cranky, but hey - no projectile vomiting...yet.

And with the absence of the aforementioned items comes the introduction to my life of Tums, a squishy middle, maternity jeans, crying at Charmin commercials, and flatulence that can send even my dog running for the border.

So...am I glowing yet?