Hazy Monday
It's a beautiful Monday out and I'm still feeling the ill effects of a weekend celebrating in Hoboken, so this post is bought to you in dribs and drabs. Judging from the call register on my cell phone, I have a telephonic diary of Saturday night's drunkenness, on the behalf of my compadres.
If the amount of phone calls are correlative to the number of people present, this explains the volume of randomly inane observations left on my voicemail. And MJ, my friend, you are one of the guilty parties. I've only had a sampling of what is to come, as I still have to listen to the rest...
"M, you were here, but you are not here anymore." (Plato, move over. There's a new sherriff in town!)
"I'm just letting you know the tag is sticking out the back of your shirt. Even though you're standing ten feet away from me." (Thanks. I only found this out this morning.)
"There is all this drama going on and where are you? How come you're not in the middle of it?" (Now, how am I supposed to respond to that?)
And of course, the ubiquitous:
"I love you man!"
Once I have finished listening to it all, I will then compile the messages, so as to find the hidden meaning underlying these warblings. It's all so very Da Vinci Code.
As for work, my boss only told me Friday afternoon, at the very last possible minute, that they hired someone to take my spot and she is starting today. So when I came in this morning, I employed all possible evasion tactics from having to train anyone, before having my third cup of coffee (yes, the weekend was that rough). So instead, I made our intern do it.
Intern: "What am I supposed to do with her?"
Me (waving my hand): "You figure it out."
It was quite the Joan Crawford moment for me. And I liked it.
If the amount of phone calls are correlative to the number of people present, this explains the volume of randomly inane observations left on my voicemail. And MJ, my friend, you are one of the guilty parties. I've only had a sampling of what is to come, as I still have to listen to the rest...
"M, you were here, but you are not here anymore." (Plato, move over. There's a new sherriff in town!)
"I'm just letting you know the tag is sticking out the back of your shirt. Even though you're standing ten feet away from me." (Thanks. I only found this out this morning.)
"There is all this drama going on and where are you? How come you're not in the middle of it?" (Now, how am I supposed to respond to that?)
And of course, the ubiquitous:
"I love you man!"
Once I have finished listening to it all, I will then compile the messages, so as to find the hidden meaning underlying these warblings. It's all so very Da Vinci Code.
As for work, my boss only told me Friday afternoon, at the very last possible minute, that they hired someone to take my spot and she is starting today. So when I came in this morning, I employed all possible evasion tactics from having to train anyone, before having my third cup of coffee (yes, the weekend was that rough). So instead, I made our intern do it.
Intern: "What am I supposed to do with her?"
Me (waving my hand): "You figure it out."
It was quite the Joan Crawford moment for me. And I liked it.
Don't make me say it! Because my closet's full of them!
And finally, in response to the question posed, I think I can start naming names. That interview where the guy couldn't keep his eyes open, upon listening to me describe my illustrious career, took place at Trump World magazine.
I know. Believe me, I know. The only way to win this season of The Apprentice is for someone to fall asleep during the board meeting.
What can I say? It wasn't in the cards. And maybe that's a good thing. Because if people are falling asleep over there, maybe I would have been the jackass to carry the load on my back.
I'll take my blessings where I can find them.
posted by Currin Girl at 9:55 AM
3 Comments:
Snore Fezzzzzzzt
Haha amazing! One could only hope for an answer that entertaining.
This wouldn't be the first time I pled guilty. However, I would really love to know specifically which drunk dialing offense I am pleading to THIS TIME.
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