Why I love New York City - Reason 2

The news today is that the Central Park coyote has been captured after running loose around the park for the past two days. How it got there I don't know. Considering the park is surrounded by the urban sprawl of the city, I'll take a stab that it either had to pay the toll at the Lincoln Tunnel or took an Amtrak train to get in.
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Anyway, when C and I heard about the coyote, we laughed as if to say: "Thasssss' nothing! Remember the talking tushies in the tree?"

Yes, you read right. In the trees at Central Park were

See, Central Park is a never-ending source of amusement for me and most other New Yorkers. For me personally, I'll fake the people out who just stand in the middle of bike path, waiting to become human roadkill, by careening towards them as if I've lost control on my blades. Then I watch them go bug-eyed and scatter out of the way like ants. Good times. For others, like my friend, they'll be sunning themselves on a rock until they notice they have company on the next rock. And he's very busy with himself while watching her. Yeah. It's time to go.

So one day, about two years ago, C and I were in Central Park when we noticed that there were police cars and a crowd gathering over in section of the park. Not because we're stupid, but because we're New Yorkers, we walked towards this site of potential danger, rather than away from it.

The police roped off a wide area around this tree and people were just sitting around, watching this cop go up in a cherry-picker. And they keep staring and waiting, with baited breath, making it eerily quiet all around us. After about five minutes, I'm like, "Hello? Did we just walk into The Magic Garden? Is he going to start communicating with the tree?" And all of a sudden there's shouting, the tree is shaking, and the cop in the cherry-picker is being assaulted by a branch. I nearly fell over, thinking, "Holy shet! The tree can talk! Where are the purple unicorns???"

But then we realized - the trees are alive with the sound of asses!

That's right. Once I stopped looking for Munchkins to jump out and sing a song for us, I saw a bare ass that one could assume belonged to the owner of the voice yelling at the police offer. And then there were two. Two tushies yelling from that tree. And still smacking the officer in the cherry-picker with branches.

(actual photo from the scene)

No one told him that being a naked people picker upper

was a part of the job description

I looked over at C as if to say What is this world coming to? Being the ever intrepid soul that he is, he circled around and started asking people questions. Along the way, we met people from Norway, Sweden, and Mexico, in addition to other countries. So basically, there was a whole League of Nations united in watching barenaked asses - literally and figuratively - shouting from a tree. Now they may only be asses, but they've got an international audience most of us can only dream of. Talk about serious bragging rights.

This is the story behind it. It's safe for work, because mercifully the cops convinced them to put their clothes back on.

Now, pray tell. How does a coyote compare to that?!?