You Know What Time It Is

Can I just say how much I lurve Flava of Love? Is anyone out there feeling me on this? My heart swelled when a bunch of us were at Dos Caminos and my friend said to me, "M, do you know what time it is?" (a catchphrase of the show). I practically shot out of my chair with my hand in the air, whooping, "I know what time it is! I know what time it is!" Then I remembered we were in Dos Caminos and not KFC.

The Clock ceremonies! The romantic dates at Red Lobster! The ten dollar weaves! The delusion that they'll be set for life with this Babydaddy x 10! New York goes postal on Pumpkin in the previews for next week's Clock ceremony! And nothing was as fascinating as Hottie rockin' the fashions, pushing the limits of trying to make one little swatch of fabric cover so much booty. RIP Hottie's outfits. We hardly knew ye.

(I'm still looking for images of Hottie to illustrate, but apparently this sort of thing is banned from public viewing on the Internet.)

I heart this show with a passion and pray he doesn't find anyone so that we can have a Season Two. How they will find crazier women than who they already have, I don't know. But here's hoping for it.

New York is my personal favorite, not because she's my hometown girl which she is, but because of her diction. Her articulation of her feelings. The way she talks to the camera provides endless amusement, as she passionately declares her love for Flav in this way that I can't even describe. It's obvious even Flav, of all people, thinks she's nuts and the producers probably bribed him to keep her on the show. But who cares? She's worth every single head-tossing, psychotic second of it.

"Girl, you could have Trish from The Bachelor for a snack!"

No one did a faster 180 than I did upon watching my first episode. When I first heard of this show, I passed it over immediately. But one day at the gym, for lack of anything else to watch, I settled on this. Within ten minutes, I was standing on the treadmill, laughing my head off like a nutter. Maybe everyone else was looking at me strangely, but I'll have you know they changed their channels to VH1 like a shot.

After it's over, I will be inconsolable. I will be sobbing into my pillow. This show is so bad, it's good. The only comfort to me would be a DVD of the entire season and my very own Flava Flav doll (with the clock and gold teeth, natch).

Sigh. I love this show.