Debacle on 34th Street

The holiday season has begun. How do I know? 34th street has become a logistical nightmare.

It's a minefield I tell you, a minefield of people. Where the fuck did all of these people come from? Do we really have that many people on this planet? And did they all have to come to New York?

And the Christmas decorations came out the day after Halloween. There's no money in Thanksgiving decorations. You can't give gifts for Thanksgiving. So retailers put the kibosh on the whole holiday and went for the silver carrot - Christmas decor in the first week of November, when it was 70 degrees out every...single...day.

Try walking a straight line down this street. Come on, I dare you. It's not an option, I should know. By the time they all go back where they came from, I'll have vertigo from having to dodge left and right to get where I'm going.

All the people in front of Macy's, standing in my way, as they ooh and aah over the Christmas windows...suckers. The store did the same windows last year. They recycled their Christmas windows on you punks! Get your asses over to Barneys, look at Simon Doonan's windows, and save me the extra time it's taking me to get to and back from Herald Square station.

Bah humbug.