Pen me in...biatch

Without C, I am a social blank.

I'll be the phone and the other person will ask me when C is coming to town. As soon as I tell them, it's like "Oh, we all have to get together for dinner/drinks/etc.!"

Let's face it - I myself am a social non-entity. The trend of upsurges in my social life are correlative to when C is in town. Thus, he complains to me sometimes that we don't get enough alone time together when he's here.

I've never been one for the Bobbsey Twins-type relationships, where we have to do everything together. I was in one of those before and no matter how much I complained of feeling smothered, I got smothered even more – so I started to chafe and that was done.

Thankfully, C and I are so not like that. Even before the precedent was set by being in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years, we've liked our independent time and space. It’s just how we are.

So when some of my friends broach the subject of doing couples' nights out, I'm all for it. I love them. But it's not always possible. I'm still in this long distance relationship and he is not always here to balance me out in other people's eyes. However, I’m available for movies, drinks, birthday parties, special occasions...I do a mean poodle with balloons and my "Hava Nagila" will have them dancing the Hora like you've never seen.

I love my man very, very much. Yet I do not shrivel up when he’s gone, only to have him sprinkle water on me when he returns and poof! Here I am!

When he is here for good, I will be yet a better version of the currently whole, self-fulfilling self that I am, if that makes sense. And it will be great, I am so looking forward to it. But in the meantime, neither of our lives can be suspended and what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, including this separation. It will give us that much more to bring to the table, when we're permanently sharing one.