Friday, September 22, 2006

And Woof Grrl was born

It's no secret that I'm a HUGE fan of dogs. If I were a super-hero, I think my super-hero name would be Woof Grrl. You know, like a dog goes "woof" and then growls like "grr"? Never mind. Anyway, my costume would have fur all over it and my mask would have a wet nose with pointy ears on top. My super power would be that I can smell out doggie injustice within a 50-mile radius. The would call me the Canine Avenger.

So this morning....ohhhh, you didn't want to mess with me this morning! I'm dog-sitting for my parents (natch) while they're away, meaning I must commute in from New Jersey and wake up super-early to do this. I'm only on my second cup of coffee and traffic was a snarl because of the UN General Assembly. I was not a happy camper.

Barrelling down 2nd Avenue is a van from Biscuits and Bath. This driver gave new meaning to the words "driving like an asshole". Okay, fine. What was NOT okay was the fact that there was big sign pasted on the rear window saying "Live Animals" on it.

Watching this van cut off other drivers and braking hard in between made my blood boil. I saw red! You don't understand, when I see someone mistreating a dog, I just go off. C will back me up on this. When some schmuck is dragging his dog along the sidewalk without even paying attention to notice the dog is trying to wee, I'll be the first to say something. Like (tap on the shoulder), "Have you noticed your dog is trying to take a piss?"

I'm a big believer in that there are no bad dogs, just bad owners. If I see someone trying to do the "My dog just made a poop and I'm going to pretend I didn't see it" shuffle, I'm hot on their heels waving a plastic bag, "DO YOU NEED A BAG TO PICK UP YOUR DOG'S POOP?"

Dogs are human beings, too.

So when I saw that van, I could only imagine the poor doggies in the back, flying around in their cages while being subjected to what he was doing. That just made me so mad, I was shaking. Because any idiot who decides to drive like an ass - while driving a company van with the business phone number printed on the side of it - deserves to be reported.

Which is exactly what I did. I dialed up Biscuits and Bath and in no uncertain terms, I made it clear to them the following: that not only was this upsetting for me, not only was it bad for their business to have their company van being seen like that - but it was animal cruelty. And I made it very clear I was thisclose to calling the Humane Society of New York City, the director of which I happened to interview for an article last spring. I was assured the manager would be informed. But I'm not done yet, which is why I'm writing about it and naming names.

As Woof Grrl, my work is never done; next on my agenda: banning doggie couture. Seriously, someone's got to save them.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loathe to reveal your position on doggie couture to my 3.5 lb Pomeranian, who owns more outfits than the contents of a closet of an average American teenage girl. Undoubtedly Zoe would be green with envy should Mishka choose to picket your building in her autumn twin-set.

5:04 AM  

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